A City Break in Stockholm
for the tippex in my diary - i thank you
for the bliss of shredder-shed responsibilities – i thank you
for digital joy of recycle bin deletions – i thank you
for the sheer consoling splendour of isolation – i thank you
first you teased with all-encompassing threat
then you chained me to my own radiating mind
you took away half my face
you tied a bargepole to my wrists
you broadcast endless reports of your own cruelty
you made me rehearse my last breath
for winnowing my chaff-choked time – i thank you
for this unexpected necessary ecdysis – i thank you
for revealing peace in cellular routine – i thank you
for forcing me to pay attention – i thank you
you indulged yourself with shape-shifting tricks
you mixed subtle lies amongst your inexorable truths
you pretended to let me go then manacled me anew
you made me dream of the luxury of choice
you tried your best to make solitude lonely
such an ultimate brutality of callous ambition
so for offering the chance to disarm you – i thank you
for adding to the list of my survivals – i thank you
for compelling me to love my time and my space – i thank you
for sparing me – so far – i thank you
Ted Eames, 2022